Well I’m Back!

Sorry for the missed week everyone! I had my birthday and an avoidable flare (hopefully the jury is still out on this one). So as i’m procrastinating doing homework (sorry mom) I figured I might as well blog! Good idea right? I thought so. So, with all of this downtime I was able to really think about this year and how it has had the many downs and the many highs. One thing that always phases me on my birthday (before the gross belly problems I have) is the people who are missing that year from my birthday. It really hit me hard this year for some reason and maybe it was because a couple days before it I wanted to call the two people who were missing and of course I don’t have the number for heaven. So the day before my birthday I really wanted to call my Mimi and just chitchat about stuff going on at school, *little back story, My mimi is my moms mother and she was the person who other than my mom and dad was my best friend, I told her everything so when she was diagnosed with cancer that’s right around the time that all of my stomach stuff was happening just no one knew and unfortunately my mimi passed away so the last birthday I shared with her was my 21st* So this birthday I was kinda wanting her there but as previously explained that couldn’t happen and I have always wanted to get my mimi drunk…. We are a fun family. Then the day of my birthday there was a thing that made me know that my dad was around *he passed away my senior year of high school* It was that stupid lamp from a Christmas story and my dad loved it. So after this point while Cory and I were in the car on my 23rd birthday I was sobbing because it hit me that the two people who were missing weren’t there and I just wasn’t about it. Thankfully I have an awesome fiance and he comforted me and just let me cry (literally don’t know what I would do without him). So here’s how my birthday has changed now that I have this lovely stomach, every year my mom makes me something special for my bithday, this year was different because it had to be gluten free and being the awesome cook my mom is she made that happen but instead of being my perky self the entire time by time we got home from shopping I was a sassy monster because the night before I had THE WORST headache I have ever had on this medicine (like I was ready to cut my head off) and unfortunately the next day I still had a pretty yucky one. Thankfully, I have the best mom in the world and she made me feel normal again. MY biggest thing with being treated as a Crohns patient is that I don’t feel normal and I try to not let anyone know that I’m dealing with anything or in pain. I hide it from everyone. That was the whole reason for this blog. I’m tired of hiding when I am in pain or have a headache from this medicine. (once again I have the best family and friends and fiance because I don’t hide anything from them and they accept this hot mess)  It is baby steps but I don’t feel as embarrassed to ask for an allergy menu when we go out (which surprisingly most places have) there is still some times where I just don’t feel like asking and I pay for it later. So this year has been an experience for sure, but at the end of the day I know this is just making me a stronger person and I think that’ what is really pushing me. So after reading all this,would you wanna read more? If so i’ll see you next week! if not, thank you for reading!!!

And Just Like That it’s My Senior Year

The last post I gave you some insight into my crazy life, intrigued to see more? Well welcome back! As I sit here after looking at my first class for this upcoming semester on springboard, I can’t help but think “holy hell this is finally happening.” I am finally going to be at the end of my college career after the spring semester and about a month after that I will be getting married. While all this is so exciting it’s also slightly terrifying. Not because I am not happy to finally be done with spending thousands for an education or to marry my best friend. It’s terrifying because I don’t want to shit the bed at being an adult and soon I will be someones wife than someones mother. Scary right? Always though, the fear in the back of my head is “Will my life always revolve around my stomach?” I say this because it’s a week before my 23rd birthday and I am holding back because I don’t want to go somewhere and I end up in a flare or ruin the fun for my fiance and the friends that do stuff with us. I don’t want to be worried about this everyday. There are days where I see some positivity in this stomach of mine but there are days where I am way too tired to see it.  So on-top of starting school and of course the stress that comes with that I also have to deal with keeping myself awake so I can also go to work and do my online school work. But don’t think that I won’t figure out how to do it, my momma raised me strong and damnit I will walk down that stage and accept my diploma and walk down that aisle and marry the love of my life. So if you ever have these crazy days like mine, or need a friend or someone to talk to please feel free to message me because we all need people holding us up when stress and worries weigh us down, and I would love to be in your corner. Until next week, have a good one guys and I appreciate you taking time to take a look into my jumbled brain!

ps. enjoy the pictures of this week and some of my cat (cause who doesn’t want to see her) This week I have been having some bad headaches and super tired all the time but still smiling!

A Little bit about me

The best way for me to tell you about myself is by pictures. I am 22 years old and engaged to my best friend, I attend the University of Akron and I am a die hard cat mom. I am also someone who always finds a way to laugh or smile through the pain that I go through in life. By right now you’re probably thinking, “Shelby you sound like any normal girl what do you mean by pain?” I am happy with the way god has planned my life and the curves and bumps he has thrown in the way but there is times when the physical pain becomes hard for me to be my normal fun self and then there are times where I want to go out dancing and spend time at ninja competitions and hiking with my fiance. One bump that I am always dealing with now is being a person who is dealing with having Crohns. This has made things very challenging with crazy diet changes and being on new meds all of the time. This blog is not being made for you to look at me and feel bad I am making this blog so that people who are going through the same things I go through know that they are not alone or just want someone to relate to. I am also making this as an outlet for me because why not? I am a strong girl and I know that from loosing my dad, then my grandma then going through endless testing for this disease, and onto more screenings for my lady buisness. But at the end of the day I am able to lay my head down and know that I have a wonderful fiance who deals with my sassy self and an awesome mom who still goes above and beyond for me and friends who would do anything for me. So while you read this if you think if it is something you would enjoy reading weekly and hearing about things in my crazy life then I can’t wait to hear what you think! I plan on posting weekly (depending on how I am feeling of course) about everything (the good the bad and the ugly). So really all I could say to that is Let’s start this crazy train!